Talk to s
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So, for example, if you conclude that someone is confident or rich, homeless or shy, a tourist or lives in the neighborhood, what told you that? They talk when you listen. About the author Kio Stark writes, teaches and speaks about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology.
People talk if you give them the chance to. Taking the time to draw or write directions is a slight incursion, and this exercise is about incrementally escalating incursions. If they draw you the map, you ask for their phone so you can call if you get lost. You can do them all in one day or spaced out over months.
These sound like easy questions. It relies on using video or audio recording equipment you can use your smartphone to help legitimate the intrusion and give it some logic. The goal here is simply to observe: What are people doing? Talk to s aware, be observant, see if you can understand the micro-local assumptions about public behavior and cleave to them.
Take care in choosing a starting place and destination — you may have to try this a few times to find a pair that works well. If you are male or have a male appearance, be especially respectful when speaking to women and people who have a female appearance, since by default you could be seen as threatening or intrusive.
You can enlighten your friends and readers with your observations. They are not. You can try engaging and see how that goes. You should be noticeably out of place — perhaps by race, gender, ethnicity, age, ability, membership, appearance or other of difference. The first step is to ask someone for directions. TED Talk of the Day. What does it take to say a simple hello to a stranger you pass on the street? Kio Stark writes, teaches and speaks about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to talk to s.
Give yourself a reasonable territory to traverse, something that will take at least five to ten minutes. Define a territory for yourself: Are you going to walk around the block?
How to talk to strangers
Talk to s still. Do they laugh? The first expedition is a warm-up to help you slow down your pace and sharpen your awareness, hone your skills at observing public behavior, and get you in the right frame of mind. Julia Rothman. Each gives you a method or a reason for talking to a stranger, a mechanical problem to solve. You need to appear plausibly unable to navigate without a handdrawn map or list of directions. I highly recommend you do this once no matter which other expeditions you might choose.
The structure works like this. Share your notes, on your blog, your social networks, anywhere you write about your experiences. Have some paper and a pen handy and keep your smartphone tucked away. Anything is possible. How are they responding to your presence?
How it works.
A surprising of people give out their phone. Spend one hour in a public place where you are not likely to encounter people you know. Over the years that I used this exercise talk to s my classes, only one student ever actually made the call. Remember that context matters. All of them. Keep a keen awareness of the dynamics of each of these micro-interactions.
Walk slowly. Then be quiet. Take notes with your mind as you go along, and write them down when you get back. Where are you?
Kio stark has always talked to strangers — she believes these fleeting moments give us new ways to fall in love with the world. she shares five ways to spark a meaningful interaction with someone you’ve never met before.
Turn off your devices; get off the grid. Remember the tremendous cultural differences in expectations of eye contact and street behavior.
If they give you their phoneyou call it. Start recording before you pose your question. How do you get out of a conversation? This final expedition takes you into deeper, more complex territory.
In pairs, you each go on separate expeditions and report back. Their posture, their skin, their clothing? The camera is both a contrivance to permit the question and a little bit of mediation that allows people to open up.
If you are inspired to invent backstories for any of them, make sure to specify the details about them that inform your narrative. You can talk to s them alone or with a partner. If there is a big crowd, you can focus on just a few people if you want. I really mean OFF. Part of the challenge here is full presence. What kinds of people are there? Anywhere you can linger and watch people who are not moving rapidly is perfect.
These expeditions may not all make sense in the place where you are. Documenting experiences is a special way of processing them for yourself. You might enjoy one of them and do it over and over.
The point is the conversation, not the recording. You want something that people can tap into in an immediate, visceral way. If you are someone who spends the majority of your time in the minority, this experience may be as common as rain to you, and you may want to skip it. From the oak tree to the far bench? Give people a chance to fill their own silences. Start looking around you.
Your mission is to say hello to every person you pass by. First, describe the setting. You may have a wonderful, eye-opening experience. You approach someone who is not in a hurry and ask them if you can ask them a question on camera. The guiding principle of these talk to s is respect for others, and every explorer should pay careful attention to their own conduct. Choose a place that talk to s a reasonable density of pedestrians but not a packed pathway. Slow down your mind and understand where your assumptions come from.
Take a walk in a populous place like a park with paths or along a city sidewalk.
This expedition calls for asking a stranger a disarmingly intimate question and then simply listening to what they say. What are the most interesting features of the place?
This expedition is a sequence of requests that get successively more involved as you progress — if you are able to — through each stage. The expeditions are presented in order of increasing challenge — increased complexity, increased emotional risk, increased potential for depth of interaction. Your job is to listen. What is it for? Do they seem uneasy? If they stop and give you directions, you ask talk to s to draw you a map.
Are they startled? You can come up with your own questions too, and try out more than one. Do they smile? How might that interaction continue? I do not wish these things for you, but if you feel them, I hope they will change the way you see the world.
Our new persons
Talking to new people can lead to making new connections and learning interesting things, and simply makes both you and the person you talk with happier.